The first time I started this very same blog was in 2003. It was the first time I had tried to write a digital journal of any kind. I had named it Random Musings and I did not have a specific topic that I intended to write on. Another writer and webmistress that I knew at the time insisted that I needed to write a blog in order to gain the following that a writer needs.
What I didn’t understand about myself then, but I do now is that I am not of the nature to shout “look at me.” It was some time later that I was at an exhibit of Georgia O’Keeffe’s work that I realized why I truly write. In a piece of correspondence that was on exhibit with her paintings, Ms. O’Keeffe said “I paint for me, what they get from it is them.” She was referring to her critics who said that her flowers were all sexual in nature.
After seeing that exhibit in 2006 and reading those words. I realized I write for me. With that in mind I took on what was to be the Third version of this blog. Unfortunately it did not last long as a scant two years later my world was upended in a very emotional way. I left an abusive marriage and went back to school.
While in school, I took creative writing. During that time we were encouraged to write in a blog. I wrote a few posts but they were not even something I found interesting. If I would not reread them, why would anyone else want to?
Due to financial hardships, I lost my web host where I was hosting my blog. For a time, I didn’t even try to recreate my blog, I didn’t have the energy to put into it. I was only able to find part time work, had a small child, and my writing was not a high enough priority for me to make time for it. I always felt like something was missing, but putting pen to paper took too long and I didn’t like the free hosting sites that I found.
The most recent version of this blog was started two years ago in 2018. I decided to host it with WordPress as I thought it would be easy enough to set up. I wrote a few posts that I chose not to publish publicly. It would not have made my life easier to have published them publicly. If anything it would have made things worse, and they were already bad enough.
Since I lost my job as a result of the government shutdown, I did not have the money needed to renew my site. It was shut down by the host for lack of payment and the posts were lost.
Now my husband, our daughter, and I have moved halfway across the country. My work allows me the luxury of time in the evenings, and weekends off. Additionally, the current pandemic has given me the chance to rebuild my site and blog. The blog will be first as I truly want to post something for Mother’s Day.
Please join me on a crazy path through my random musings.